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April 19, 2007

Goodbyeya Sanjaya

Let's Go Knicks!

Liz and her mom, post-performance

Liz's mom is number 61!

Q&A with the girls

Good Thursday to you all. The weather teeters on the brink of being sunny, it’s almost the weekend and Mr. Malakar was finally voted off that damn show. Dana wonders what I will have to complain about now that pony hawk has been given the heave-ho. Well, let’s see, let’s start with the fact that I just had to go into 17 versions of a One Day Sale ad and change hyphens to en dashes and en dashes to m dashes. Who decided that there had to be 3 different lengths of dashes anyway? Well, in case you were wondering, the hyphen is the smallest, the en dash is as wide as an ‘N’ and the stupid m dash is double the width of an ‘N.’ Got it? And I may have lost 2 hours of my life attempting to be accurate in Bloomingdale’s ads, but you can bet I will not do so for this blog. You will have to just accept my inappropriate use of the dash.

Before I begin my superficial ramblings, I’d just like to add my condolences re: the Virginia Tech murders. The recently released videotapes and writings show that the psychopath blamed everyone and their rich mother for forcing him to kill. You know, you can argue until the end of time for or against gun control, but people who are willing to put a bullet into innocent people for reasons only known to their incredibly unstable minds will find a way to get the weapon they want, you can be sure of that and it’s truly scary. On a brighter (well, it’s not really brighter, but…) note, the acts of bravery that were seen in the face of this selfish, evil act were as inspiring as the murders were depressing. I guess we can take minor comfort in that. Sigh.

The pics that are up today include those from my and Ellen’s trip to watch the Knicks/Nets play and watch Liz’s mom and her merry band of senior hip-hop pros dance at the game, Maddison’s christening and a recent situation nearby my home involving brave fiyafightas. I went a little crazy with the camera. (No one was hurt in the fire, FYI.) I was very impressed by the boys in black and their skills. I’ve never actually seen a fire being fought live before.

So Liz’s mom was a dancing fool and the whole thing was just so well choreographed. The crowd was loving them, big time. You gotta give them major props. Liz’s mom is young (she’s 61 – their ages are on their jerseys) but there were other people in their 70s and 80s. As long as the Nets keep winning, Hip Hop Betty will keep dancing. You go, girl! (Sorry about yer Knicks, Elron.)

Sunday was Maddison’s christening. She was a dream — no crying and no fussing. She has this incredibly concerned expression on her face all the time with these big, inquisitive blue eyes and is, for the most part, a very serious baby, just like her mom! I succeeded in my Godmotherly duties and Maddison already knows how to say the “Our Father” in Latin (at least I think that’s what she was saying), so things are going quite well.

I had my first league softball scrimmage yesterday. It was muddy and cold and I had less than stellar at-bats. My fielding was okay, we won the game and I was able to slide without messing up another knee, so we’ll call it a good day. Go Titans! What else? I may be going to see Wanda Sykes in Jersey tonight. I have some deadlines I’m up against for Brides mag, though, so I might not end up going. (Fascinating, I know.) Still haven’t heard about the tennis certification. Oh - Report from Royersford: Cece is 10 months old today and very close to walking (she’s skipping the crawling because she feels it’s passé).

That’s the story. Enjoy your weekends!

Contemplating life

Godmotherly duties

FDNY to the rescue!

Up on the roof

April 13, 2007

Alexis and Jennifer take on Martha Stewart

This might be a first - today I'm posting pics of something that just happened a few hours ago. How timely of me. Jonathan and I went to go see Alexis and Jennifer's Whatever Q&A segment on Martha this morning. A&J looked great and were incredibly candid, as usual. They (well, I'm sure this was Alexis's doing) banished Martha from their immediate area while they did the segment, so Martha busied herself chopping up celery in the kitchen and watching them on a monitor. Alexis teased Jennifer for being a nervous wreck, Jennifer implied Alexis was a slut, the girls debated whether a certain Jewish saying was "poo, poo, poo" (Jennifer) or "tsk, tsk, tsk" (Alexis) - it was good times all around and hopefully they'll grab some new fans from the exposure.

Hey, did you know if your hands smell like garlic you should run them under water against something that's stainless steel and they won't smell after that? Martha shared that tip during a commercial break. Who knew? Molly Shannon was on the show as well. Martha reprimanded her for using a power saw of sorts less than skillfully and likened her to a 5-year-old that couldn't color inside the lines. It was pretty damn funny.

Lugged some photo equipment back to Jonathan's mansion for his next shoot and then we loaded up on some greasy breakfast food. Walked home and now I must clean my disaster of a room before heading to New Joizey with Ellen the Hustler to watch the Knicks/Nets game. Liz Walkup's mom is in the Nets' senior hip-hop troupe and she'll be dancing at halftime! Hilarious.

Anyway, that's the update. I'm going to Little Neck on Sunday for Simone's little girl's christening. I'll be little Maddison's Godmother, if you can believe that one! No doubt there will be more baby pics on this page come Monday. (Not one WORD out of you, Snugget!!!)

Enjoy your weekends, people.

April 11, 2007

Easter Recap

I’ve been trying to get to this entry but things have been hectic. I know you’ve all been sitting at home wondering how Easter was at the Leo household. I KNOW IT! Easter was utterly hilarious, in fact. Attendance included, but was not limited to: Vicky, BFF, Billy the Great, Faye, the lone Jew and Faye’s Greek Orthodox in-laws. My aunt, uncle and other family friends were there, too, and it wouldn’t be a holiday without my fabulous cousin, Pickle and her soon-to-be husband, Kevin. They’re getting married in September – if and only if, with the help of Ellen the Hustler, I manage to procure 8 dulce de leche sashes from Watters & Watters. (Don’t ask.) Anyway, click on any Easter pic to see the whole gallery. The Greek Orthodox peeps (PEEPS!) made us play this egg game where you “tap” the top of your egg on the egg of person sitting next to you and if yours survives intact, you go around the table tapping everyone else’s eggs. The egg that survives without cracking wins and that person gets good luck or some noise. Interestingly, one of the Greeks won this game and Faye, the lone Jew, cried foul. No, I’m lying…no one cried foul (although someone should have) - I just like saying “Faye, the lone Jew”…it sounds so majestic. (Faye is in on this joke, people, so don’t get all up in my grill.) Anyhooo, BFF was serving shots to the masses throughout the evening, and by 10pm, Sal and company were feeling no pain. Sal scooped up the candied strawberry from my mini cheesecake thingy and put it in his glass of Strega. Now, if you are familiar with last Easter’s Strega incident, you’ll know that there is cause for concern when this liqueur is presented to the menfolk. In case you are wondering, Strega is “the most famous Italian liqueur in the world,” according to, where else, www.Strega.it Anyway, I didn’t get any phone calls the next day about Sal’s behavior, so I’m assuming all went well.

There’s a pic on here of Cristin and I from last Friday’s Yankee game. (Thanks for the invite, C!) We froze our butts off , the boys lost and babydaddy hurt his toe! Tragic. We managed to have fun despite the numbskulls sitting to our left, our right, in front of us AND behind us. Yeesh. Some people are just SO present. Especially notable was the guy who turned to me and asked, “So, are you a Yankee fan or an Orioles fan?” As I was wearing a YANKEE hat, I thought I could just tip said cap and he’d figure it out. But no, he just kind of stared blankly as I let the silence fill the air. I gave him a break and finally pointed to my hat. Granted, he was drunk, but I have no patience for such things.

You should all know that Ricardo is on blogging probation for telling Vicky that she could never be a stand-up comedian because she was only good at reacting to things humorously. Hmmm… someone sounds a little envious. First of all, Rico, Ms. Victoria could do anything in the universe if she really wanted to do it. Second of all, reacting to something off the cuff in a witty manner requires a much more refined and intelligent sense of humor than writing a string of jokes and then presenting them. Now, I’m not dissing stand up comics, per se, because the good stand-up comics are skilled at stand-up AND improv. I’m just saying that the latter is way more difficult because it is more instinctive. You cannot really learn to be funny. If you are trying to be funny, then you probably aren’t funny. Apologize and you will get your blogging privileges back, Hernandez. I got ya back, VK.

p.s. I’m OBSESSED with Battlestar Galactica. (Thanks for loaning me those DVDs, Seth!) I was up until 3am last night watching 4 episodes in a row. The storylines are so engaging and the characters are incredibly well-rounded. I highly recommend it!

Sal (pre-Strega), BFF and Vic

Me and Le chef

Pickle has met her match


Baseball fever, sans heat

April 06, 2007

Happy Easter

Hello pretty people. What’s new? I finally downloaded pics from Melissa’s birthday celebrations, including our ski trip to Vermont, so I’m putting a few of them up today. (Click on the pics to see the whole gallery.) One would think we’d be talking daffodils and 60-degree breezes at this point but, alas, it is 36 frickin degrees in the Big Apple today, so posting pictures of a ski trip is appropriate, I suppose. What makes this cold just a little easier to deal with is that I just booked my plane ticket to St. John! Vicky, Paul and I are going in a few weeks! (Thanks to the fabulous Sandy Chapin, who has given us the use of her family’s condo at Gallows Point again.)

And so, the warm weather awaits and this is good. This freezing cold crap is incredibly inconvenient TODAY, however, because Cristin and I will be sitting outside in it for 5 hours tonight at the Yankee game. Cannot WAIT to go see my boys, though, so I’ll just have to deal. I’m actually thinking of going in my snowboarding gear. Maybe I’ll even bring the goggles. Cristin will be so happy that she brought the freak in the pink ski goggles to the game. Anyway, the Yanks are one and one and I am SO glad baseball season is under way. Speaking of playing ball, I got my Bloomingdale’s softball jersey and I love it. It says Leo on the back and I finally got #2! Babydaddy will be so proud. I don’t know how I’m going to manage being on three teams this season, but a playa must do what a playa must do.

In other news, I went ice skating at Wollman Rink in Central Park with the ladies from Brides magazine last Friday. Millie, Sally, Rachel, little Cleo and I hit the ice with the fabulously talented Sarah Leingang, who showed us all kinds of competition-caliber moves. It was a good time, even though the ice was kinda gross due to the fact that it was 63 degrees and half of it was melting. Trump has stamped his name all over this place. Apparently he is responsible for refurbishing it, but really, does he have to use the most hideous font and color imaginable in the “Logo"? Check out the website (link above) – all kinds of pretty script and then a hideous TRUMP in red block letters. The man has absolutely no taste.

Anyhooo… Sangaya’s still on Idol and the world is still spinning, for better or for worse. My mom left me a message last night saying that her friend saw me on some public access channel in Great Neck last night. I was once in an Easter play when I was 13 or something – I was Veronica, the chick who gave Jesus a cloth to wipe his face when he was carrying the cross. The play was videotaped and some random station is apparently airing the damn thing. Ha! Angie goes, “Heath, you finally made it, you were on TV!” Angie gets props for some well-appointed sarcasm there. Can you imagine? They don’t have a more recent video of something having to do with Easter to air on their station? They run a Passion Play from 1989!? Beyond ridiculous.

I’m finally back into the yoga swing of things. Went to Laughing Lotus with Ellen and Melissa on Tuesday and again yesterday night. We are going to attempt to make it to the Tuesday night class each week. (Vicky – we’ll call these evenings ROOMIE TUESDAYS in your honor. He he.)

Easter is this weekend. Should be interesting as there will be 20 or more of us. Aunt Faye, the lone Jew, will be joined by her Greek Orthodox in-laws, the proper Catholics and heathens such as myself (hopefully Vicky and Paul will round out the heathen contingent). I’m quite sure it will be a grand old time, as our holidays usually take on a life of their own. I’ll be sure to fill you all in next week.

Happy Easter, lovelies!

Bloopers from The Office!