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September 22, 2006

McPatrick McDempsey Loves Fishy Face

All of my worlds are colliding this a.m., as the Yankees have officially reached an agreement to make the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons their Triple-A affiliate. Bye bye Columbus! Now, this news really doesn't technically affect me in the least (nor does it probably interest you very much), but it just makes me happy to know that the next Derek...the next Mariano...the next Bernie - will be only 2.5 hours away and living in the place where I spent 4 of the best years of my life thus far. (Story here.)

So yesterday I played softball on godforsaken Roosevelt Island with my NBOC team (our rightfielder has some new thoughts to share, FYI - see "Rico's Ramblings"). We played a kind of blah game and lost 7–3...our first LOSS! Our uniforms looked better than the other team's, though...so that's something, no? These pics taken on the R.I. tram after the game:

Last night was the premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Do you guys watch that show? I don't actually watch it, but Melissa and Ellen are obsessed with it, so I kind of watch it by default, popping in to the living room from time to time when they start squealing about something. Last night, we found out that Dr. McPatrick McDempsey loved fishy face Meredith. Duh...didn't we already know that? The show is actually pretty good, I'm just not the biggest fan of Patrick Dempsey and two of the other leads (Izzy and Meredith). I think that's probably why I am not as hard core as THESE two. Here they are last night, reacting to McPatrick's McSpeech to fishy face (they're gonna kill me for posting this):

After Grey's was over, another show premiered - Six Degrees. It was actually really good. It's based on the whole notion that we are all connected to one another by 6 degrees. Sounds cliché, but it works because the characters are interesting and the dialogue's decent. It's produced by JJ Abrams, and now that my beloved Alias is off the air, I'll need another Abrams outlet. This just might be it. Plus, it's set in NYC, and it's always nice to watch the goings-on of your own city on the tube.

Alrighty then...I'm not at Bloomingdale's today. Gonna go find some food and get something accomplished today. It's Friday, people...SMILE.

September 21, 2006

Paragraphs...in honor of Derek!


The Yankees Clinch the AL East Title!
Yeah baby! It was unfortunate that they didn't get to CLINCH it clinch it, but a winning record is a winning record, people. I don't wanna hear any noise about "backing in" to the title from Mets fans, Red Sox fans or rabid Canadians (DUSTIN!). I think that the Yanks record is the same as the Mets record right now, anyway...isn't it? I could be wrong...but I don't feel like looking it up. Anyway, there has been some talk that Giambi dissed A-Rod in some Sports Illustrated article that's hitting newstands soon. I hate to think that there is strife in my beloved clubhouse. I'll have to wait and read the article, and then I'll give you my assessment. I know you'll be waiting anxiously.

I've decided to employ PARAGRAPHS! You see, I've come to realize that one humongous paragraph is intimidating and almost stressful to read...especially when said paragraph consists of disconnected ramblings. This decision might help with the whole bad segue situation. I just WON'T segue if I can't figure out a way to do so. That's lazy, but I don't care.

I'm busy today at Bloominghell's and most of the peeps here are going on a corporate field trip at noon to the new store that is opening in Bergen County, New Joizey, so I have to get some stuff done before they leave and must cut this entry short. If you feel that these three small PARAGRAPHS (yay!) are just not satisfying enough, check out yesterday's rant re: how to walk properly on NYC streets. Everyone should be aware of these walking rules - for my sake.

September 20, 2006

Avoiding the "Dance of Confusion"

Yanks won last night, so their magic number is ONE! And that's all I'll say about THAT...don't wanna jinx 'em. I missed Vicky's National Bank of Canada office shenanigans last night because of my scratchy throat. Apparently, quiz night was a huge success and Vicky is proud (and relieved) to report that everyone kept their clothes on. Excellent news, indeed. You'll notice that some of Dana's pics from Cecelia's christening are up. How cute is her damn kid?? And look at Tommy's little pudge of a boy! I cannot believe that just a few (well, 9!) years ago, Seth and Tom were hosting keg parties in their dirty old mansion of a house in Scranton, PA. What a trip! Now, they are not only responsible for providing beer for their respective households, they are also responsible for guiding a human being through the triumphs and travails of existence. Wow. Anyway, I'm still feeling a little crappy, but i really have to go to boxing tonight because there is an expiration date to my classes and I am totally behind. The problem is, though, that I went Monday and one of the trainers, Isaac, tortured a bunch of us with upper body exercises to such a degree that I can barely turn around in my chair, much less go through another hour-and-a-half of beating bags, jump-roping and shadow boxing. Let's just pray that we do legs tonight. Speaking of excessive exercise, Melissa was saying last night that one of her goals in the next year is to train for and run a half marathon and I told her that I would do it with her. I'm exhausted just thinking about it, but now that I said I would do it out loud, I HAVE to. So that's that. New York City is awash with diplomats and el presidente de las estados unidos and his peeps. There are all kinds of cops and military men carrying all sorts of weapons around. It's mildly disturbing when I actually remember to pay attention to it. I don't get it, though. I mean, the other day there were all of these police escorts being given to "official vehicles" and they were moving at about a block a minute, thanks to rush hour traffic, etc. Exactly how are the diplomats supposed to be protected when they are in the middle of gridlock? Any one of the buses flying by them or the freaks on bikes weaving in and out of cars could be suspicious. So i guess the cops are really just for show, no? Que sera sera, I suppose. What's a little less disturbing, but gives me pause, is the fact that people do not know how to walk on public sidewalks. In New York, you should walk as if you were driving. This is not an OPINION, this is how it SHOULD BE. Walk on the right. If you are strolling, stroll to the far right or find a damn park to stroll in. Whatever you do, do not enter fast moving people traffic and then walk at a slow pace. If you need to get something out of your bag, don't just stop cold and rifle through your things in the middle of the sidewalk. Move. Off. To. The. Side. If you are moving laterally to your left or right, you must give a quick glance over your shoulder to see if there is someone immediately behind you – as if you were changing lanes in a car. If you are walking a dog, reign the puppy in when people come near so they don't have to step over the leash or walk way around you. If you are a group of three or more people walking side-by-side, consider that on most NYC streets, YOU ARE COMPLETELY IN THE WAY. Pay attention to poor slobs that are trying to get around your human blockade and fall into a single-file pattern until they pass. If you are walking directly towards someone, choose your side immediately so there is no "dance of confusion". (It often helps to choose your side and then focus your eyes on that side of the sidewalk so the other person understands that you have committed and there is no other option but to take the other side, lest they slam into you.) Hmmm. I think that's it. If I've missed anything, let me know. In the meantime, check out "Rico's Ramblings" to your right. It's an uncensored column (I only edited it a tiny bit, Suave)...from the desk of Ricardo the Bullrunner. Have a Wednesday.

September 19, 2006

Congratulations, Willie Randolph!

Good morning and a big shout out to the Mets, who clinched the NL East last night with a 4–0 victory over the Florida Marlins. You see, unlike some Yankee-hating Mets fans, I am a true baseball fan and I can appreciate the fabulous season the Mets have had this year. I applaud them heartily for their efforts. (Plus, I love Willie Randolph, a Yankee if there ever was a Yankee, so I am, of course, rooting for his success.) Of course, if the Yankees and the Mets play each other in the U.S.(and sometimes Canada) Series (I refuse to say World because it makes no sense), I’ll be back shouting for some pinstripe victories, but I’m not going to be hating on Willie and the gang at any point in time. So, go Mets and go Yankees – A-Rod and Jeter both had two-run homers last night and the boys just got by 7-6 against Toronto, no thanks to the bullpen…Mariano, when are you coming back!? Anyway…you know how I was discussing E.Coli yesterday? Well, last night I’m sitting eating my MIXED GREEN salad at Vicky’s house, and midway through it, it occurs to me that I’m eating BABY SPINACH. WTF? I’m so retarded. I’ll probably have E.Coli any minute now…someone look up the symptoms, Right now, I have a slight sore throat and I’m really tired. Of course the tired thing could have something to do with the fact that I went to bed at 3am last night FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I am my own worst nightmare. You’ll notice that Ricardo’s picture is still up on the site. This is because - A. Dana’s pictures arrived too late to make the ‘morning edition’ of this blog (they’ll be up tomorrow, D) and B. Ricardo is still awesome. (I’ve offered him a column, FYI.) Also, I need to make a correction – Rico’s outfit is a bullrunning outfit, not a bullfighting outfit. I’m very sorry if this mistake offended any bullfighters and/or bullrunners. Now I’m feeling woozy… did someone look up the E.Coli symptoms yet? C’mon… find out if I’m dying while I still have health insurance. Hop to it!

September 18, 2006

Celebrating Suave Day

It's Moooonday. And how are we all today? You'll notice that there is a man dressed in a bullfighter's outfit to your left. (No, not your ACTUAL left, Ellen, ON THE SCREEN.) Said man is Ricardo, my friend and softball teammate from the National Bank of Canada. (The picture is on loan from Ms. Victoria Kuhne's archives.) Anyway, today we are honoring Rico because he has been neglected as of late. Yes, today we celebrate the man who conquered the bulls, plays left field like Melky and is a legend on the NYC club scene. Cheers, Ricardo. September 18th will henceforth be known as Suave Day. In other news, there is E.Coli in all of the spinach! Ugh...spinach is one of my favorite foods! Nothing better happen to CHEESE or I'll have nothing to eat. Alexis and Jennifer were discussing E.Coli in there radio show on Friday (check out their new website at whateverradio.com, btw) and were questioning whether the E.Coli microbe could actually make its way into the root of the spinach as well as whether E.Coli could be killed when the spinach was cooked. All of these people called in with "definite" answers and all of their answers were different. This is just another example of how we all just repeat what we hear without questioning whether what we are hearing is actually true. Sad. But what isn't sad (my best segue yet, no?), is that I finally saw Cecelia Grace Rosencrance this weekend!!! I went to PA for the little one's christening. There are no pics up today because I mostly took pics for Dana and Seth with their camera, so you'll have to wait until Dana sends me her Shutterfly link (which will probably be in five minutes, so you won't have to wait long). Cecelia is an excellent baby - I totally approve. She is beautiful and obviously smart and she already rolls her eyes and makes other sarcastic expressions. We are not BFFs yet, as she is still suspicious of why I had an odd shaped head with strange markings on my forehead (I was wearing my Yankees hat). Anyway, we'll be friends soon, I'm sure of it. Sort of speaking of the Yankees, they lost 3 out of 4 in their series with the Red Sox. Tragic. Villone and Myers ruined their lead last night and freakin' Coco Crisp (what the HELL is that name about?) stole a 2-run HR from Jorgie Posada. Ugh. Enough about that. Okay, I actually have things to do here so I must depart. Long live Rico the Bullfighter!!!

September 13, 2006

Can I have your attention please, Ms. Wintour?

The Yankees schooled Tampa Bay last night, I got more than 4 hours of sleep and no one at Bloomie's has bugged me about anything too stupid this morning. So far, so good. I can't say the same for the woman who spilled her entire large Starbucks coffee all over the herself and the lobby floor this a.m. It was quite the tragic sight, especially because the woman, who I know well and often have to deal with, is this tragic creature who is mildly crazy and prone to having mini nervous breakdowns in the office. So Fashion Week is going on in New York now and I just can't bring myself to care. It's all anyone talks about in this office. I passed up an invite to go to a show yesterday...I can't for the life of me remember whose show it was. I just don't get what all the hoopla is about. I mean, I am fan of quality clothing that is well-designed (not that I actually OWN any), but really...Anna Wintour struts around like she is a God and it's all so ridiculous. Actually, maybe it COULD be an interesting and inspiring diversion, if only there was less ATTITUDE. Yes, that's it...it's the attitude that turns me off. Designers and celebrity suck-ups cavort in VIP tents celebrating collections of thousand dollar cotton t-shirts, among other things, while the planet is going to hell and some poor soul in a third world country can barely find fresh water to drink. Now, I am not saying there is anything wrong with celebrating clothing and artistry and all of that, and hell, if you wanna buy a thousand dollar t-shirt, that's your business, but I'm just saying that the pompous attitude needs to go. Okay? Anna, are you listening?? Take those damn sunglasses off and look me in the eyes! Ironically enough, I'm headed to Condé Nast to have lunch with Ryan, Sally and maybe Nancy in a couple hours so I'll probably run into some divas grabbing a grape or two for lunch before they hit the afternoon shows. But then again, I'm headed to the Third Avenue location of the company, not the Mothership at 4 Times Square, so I might be spared the stiletto onslaught. One can only hope.

September 12, 2006

Discovering the Titans

So I'm swamped at Bloomie's, what with the whole Columbus Day 5 Day Home Sale coming up and all (when is Columbus Day, anyway? And why do we celebrate some dude who accidentally discovered someplace. I accidentally discover stuff all the time. Just the other day I discovered that there was a little wall to hit tennis balls off of in the ghetto park around the corner from me. I don't see my name on the wall or anything...probably because said wall was already there, and other people had hit balls against it before I did...). Anyway, the point I was/am trying to make is that I'm busy, so I can't write much today. (All evidence is already to the contrary, of course, including this aside.) I find though, that if I stop writing for even one day, people like my good friend and TITAN teammate, Anna Moody, stop logging on. Sigh... Speaking of the Titans...WE WON BOTH THE LEAGUE TITLE AND THE SEASON- ENDING TOURNAMENT this past weekend. It was intense. Donna pitched 3 amazing games and the rest of us rallied to come up with some fine offense. We were like the Yankees! Everyone was rooting against us, but we just kept winning. Victory was so sweet. I going to go into softball withdrawal any minute now. The bruises on my knees and shins are already fading. It's very sad. Oh well...I guess I can focus completely on rooting for a Yankees post-season now. I was irate this morning after reading about what David Ortiz said re: Derek and the MVP title. Since Jeter was characteristically classy and simply replied, 'We are trying to win the AL East, no one cares about individual titles," I must defend him properly. Mr. Ortiz needs to get a clue. He's this huge guy who plays no position and just blasts balls out of stadiums. Boooooring. That's not what the MVP should be about. Derek's season average and on-base percentages are sky-high and he can always be counted on. Plus, I bet he has contributed to more team wins with his stellar defense than Ortiz has contributed with his stellar offense. Unfortunately, there are no numbers for how many potential runs a guy threw out with awe-inspiring throws to first base made while flying through the air. What more can you ask for? David Ortiz, I just lost all respect for you, and so did your former teammate, Johnny Damon, who said, "You['ve] got to see Derek do the job. He gets clutch hits and plays Gold Glove shortstop. I am going to choose my teammate." That's coming from another guy of MVP-caliber. David, your runs mean nothing anyway, because your team is 10 1/2 games back so STEP. OFF. Alrighty then...I guess I was pissed off about that. Okay, I'm staring at this picture of a bunch of pots and I gotta go DISCOVER if they are stainless steel or not. Have a nice Tuesday.

September 06, 2006

Ice Dancing with Maria Sharapova

I'm experiencing this thing late at night when I'm at the computer - I start to get mildly anxious and feel a little lightheaded. I think my computer is officially making me ill. It's not surprising. I mean, I get up and the first thing I do - THE FIRST THING - is turn on the computer. I do this because I have to eject my iPod Nano from iTunes at some point before I begin my commute (that's what I tell myself, anyway). I get to work about a half hour later and immediately turn on my computer there. Then I sit at that computer for 8 hours and once I'm home I'm on my damn computer AGAIN! What is wrong with me!?!?! Maybe I'll stop being so OCD once I finish this book I'm reading – it's called The Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Science and our Day-to-Day Lives. I just started it...it's basically about what it says it's about. I find Buddhism to offer fascinating perspectives on life. I agree with one of the tradition's central precepts that one should not believe something simply for the sake of believing it, but should place a strong emphasis on rational inquiry. Anyway, I'm not saying that I'm going to move to Tibet or anything, I'm just checking things out. I'll let you know how it goes. (I just reread those last few sentences and I sound like I'm writing a term paper...DORK. That reminds me, do you know I once told Vicky and Christy that I didn't cut class in college because I didn't trust anyone else's notes?! WOW. Is that not the most BORING thing you've ever heard?) Oh well...what else? How about Suri Cruise? She's gonna be in the new Vanity Fair that hits newsstands today. I guess that means she either really does exist, or they have a kid on loan from the local Scientology asylum. We'll see. The new pics that are up on the page today are from this past weekend. Friday night we had softball practice in a monsoon and I had drinks and dinner with Donna and Anna in fabulous Brooklyn. (Vodka sours are simply divine, btw.) Saturday, I was at the Yankee game BY MYSELF, in the freezing cold rain. They lost...and I didn't even get one of the skull caps they were giving out -waaah. Went to the U.S. Open with Ellen and her family on Saturday night. We got to see a great match between James Blake and some dude and also caught a Sharapova match. Sharapova, incidentally, was wearing her trademark dangly earrings and a very bizarre, sequined outfit that she allegedly collaborated on with Nike. She looked like a reject from one of those reality shows –Skating with the Stars or Dancing with Celebrities or Watching TV with Monkeys or whateverthehell is going on on Network television these days. It's just wrong...it's all wrong - everything to do with MTV and David Hasselhoff and DebORAH Gibson trying to ice skate...or was she on the dancing show? I don't even know why I know that she was on one of those shows. OSMOSIS! Ugh. But back to my point... I think I had one. The tennis players on the women's tour need some fashion advice. Their outfits are either BEYOND boring or TOTALLY offensive. Can we find a happy frickin' medium already? I just don't understand it. Anyway, the matches were great and I loved hanging out with Ellen and her fam, but it was DAMN COLD up there in the rafters of Arthur Ashe Stadium. "Stupid-the-idiot," of course, was wearing shorts. My only solution for keeping warm was to bag my feet (see pic). Monday I had a nice brunch with Barrie, where I got to see her son Will. Will is an old soul already...he knows too much. You can see it in his crystal blue eyes. Ah Will...you will be my little Buddha. Watched the Yankees clobber the Royals on Monday night (we won't talk about yesterday's outing) and now it's back to writing copy blocks about luxury mattresses and elegant coffeemakers. Happy Wednesday!

September 01, 2006

Little Miss Lindsay

I had so many things to say and now I can't remember one of them. Oh well...I'll just have to see what's up there in the brain right now. OH - Vicky's boss, a hyper, non-stop talker who looks like Gene Wilder, goes to a gynecologist who HAPPENS TO BE HER BROTHER. How gross is that? I've never heard of such a thing! That's practically incest, no? I don't want to know ONE THING about anyone in my family's 'equipment' and I'm sure there's a big ole VICE VERSA there. Yeesh. 'Pass the turkey, sis...and I've been meaning to talk to you about your pap smear.' EWWWW, Wilder...get a clue. So Monday was the taping of The Ellen Degeneres Show season premiere in Central Park. I put some pics up. Sorry they are not better. I photoshopped them but the zoom on my digital camera sucks. I also put up pics from my softball team's last game. I'll have you know that we finished FIRST in our league, baby. REMEMBER THE TITANS! YEAH! They counted us out...they put us down...but we stepped it up. A few more practices to go, then the playoffs and then we're done. (Are you HAPPY, Vicky!?) I might go into softball withdrawal. Thankfully I still have another team to play with through October. The Canadian bankers will keep the dream alive. Speaking of ball, my Yankees finished 2-1 in their series with Detroit. BabyDaddy was fabulous, as usual, and A-Rod actually made contact with the ball THREE times. Let's hope he's out of his slump. OH - I remember what I wanted to mention - I saw some of the MTV Video Music Awards last night and I was soooo embarrassed for most of those people. Save for superstars like Beyoncé and Christina, the night was a night of ragamuffin musicians that were just kind of staggering up to the stage and saying unintelligible things. I forget which band it was, but they walked up sharing a whiskey and the frontman goes, "I'm gettin' WASTED tonight." Maybe I'm just getting old, but all I could think of was, 'Oh his poor mother...how embarrassed she must be.' And THEN, cute little Abigail Breslin, from that amazing movie Little Miss Sunshine, was up there PRESENTING an award with FERGIE and again I found myself thinking, 'How could her mother say YES to her agent and allow her to do this!?' BAD MOVE mama! She's gonna be exposed to all sorts of stuff she doesn't need to know anything about right now and will probably share the same fate as Lindsay Lohan - MARK. MY. WORDS. MAMA. Anyway, also on this horrible telecast, that comedian who I can't decide if I like or not, Sarah Silverman (is that her name?), was making fun of Paris Hilton and I found myself feeling SORRY for Paris. Now, after making fun of Ms. Hilton in my previous two blog entries, am I a hypocrite for chastising someone else for making fun of her? Probably. But I will say that I make fun of her for having nothing of any substance to SAY. I don't make fun of her for wasting money, partying non-stop and refraining from eating. Some of those things are just below the belt, no? Yeah, so I thought Silverman was just plain mean. Maybe there's a difference. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. Anyway, I have to go. Darryl and Stephanie are starving. Enjoy the long weekend.