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August 29, 2006

Bruce Willis Makes the Cut

I am in Little Neck and about to leave with the 'rents to go to the Poconos.  It's raining, and we are driving up to the Poconos...for one day. That's all I'll say about that. So there was a furor over my comments about Tom Cruise and "Celebrities" recently. This 'furor' occurred in my own head, of course. It occurred this morning, actually. I suppose I felt a bit guilty...about what I am still not sure, but I think that's what happens here in this house. The guilt permeates your skin...you don't even notice it and you're thinking - the toilet roll is almost out...should I put a new roll on now or just make the next person do it...but what if the next person is my father or brother...they definitely won't do it...so if I don't do it then I'm really leaving it for my mother...but I don't feel like doing it...but I HAVE to do it - anyway, I put the new roll on and then I almost immediately thought, 'maybe I'm being too harsh on Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton...and poor old Bruce Willis, all trying to make things good with the kids by playing 'My Two Dads' with Ashton. What do I reaaalllly know about these people?' Technically nothing, so maybe everything they do is taken out of context. Maybe Tom was just testing the cushions on Oprah's couch during a commercial break - you know, as a favor to the set P.A. or something. And maybe the media always catches Paris Hilton after she just wakes up, is a little out of it and only feels like saying, 'that's hot' over and over again. I don't know...but yeah, I'm making fun of them AGAIN... Okay but really, Tom acts kooky and Paris acts kinda ditzy, no?! I'll take back everything I said about Bruce Willis though...he seems like a guy you'd play whiffle-ball with at a BBQ, so he's alright. I think I am feeling mild remorse about being mean to celebs because I went to the Ellen Degeneres show taping yesterday. (She was in Central Park taping the season premiere.) Ellen's always so nice to celebs and all that and she'll be horrified and hate me because I was talking trash about people she knows on my site. You know, cuz she logs on every mornin'. Anyway, the taping was amazing and Ellen is God and Justin and Beyonce rock my world. (I don't know how to do accent marks on a PC...sorry, Beyonce...(cuz Beyonce logs on to this site just after Ellen.) FYI - Beyonce had an all-girl band! You guys HAVE to buy her new CD, btw. V. good. (The punctuation in this entry is OUT OF CONTROL, don't think I don't realize that.) Okay, I have to go...pizza and a 2 hour car-ride to the home of Mount Airy Lodge awaits. 

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August 24, 2006

Down With "Celebrities"

Today is my Friday here at Bloomie's. Thank God because I can't take anymore - this working thing sucks. Actually, it's not so much the work...it's more the dealing - with people and their idiotic, inefficient ways and, of course, their personality disorders. (I figured I'd mention personality disorders since I'm featuring Tommy Cruise on my page today.) Anyway, I am not claiming to be perfect, but for the most part I try to keep it so MY issues and quirks only effect MY person. I am not crazy like Tom...I'm just a little weird. Right? Crazy people don't know they are crazy. Hmmmm...but if I don't think I'm crazy, then I could be crazy. But the fact that I'm asking the question at all implies awareness, so I am off the hook, yeah? Zzzzzzzz. Back to Tom - so Paramount has dumped him and there is more and more chatter in Hollywood about how the over-the-top treatment for stars has to stop. So stop then! There are plenty of hungry, talented unknown actors out there. Go find them. Scout them out. Do I really need to see Bruce Willis in another Die Hard movie? NO! Why are the studios bowing down to this cheap notion of celebrity anyway. There are no real film icons anymore. "Celebrities" are not actors. Celebrities are people that are known for not much more than the fact that people know them. The fact that anyone cares about what Paris Hilton does completely befuddles me. Every time she opens her mouth and says something, she inspires me to join the Peace Corps or something...you know, work for GreenPeace or start a non-profit organization - just to balance the universe out. There's my Hollywood rant. And Katie Holmes, if you're listening: it's not too late...run run run...Angelina and Brad will adopt you AND Suri Hubbard, I'm sure of it.

August 23, 2006

The Tale of the Ebony Bookcase

Well, since I have no new pics, you'll have to settle for another image of my boys. (I know YOU'RE not disappointed, Cristin!) Speaking of the boys, they had me up until 1:30am last night watching their game vs. the Seattle Mariners and then they proceeded to lose it in the ninth. WTF? Well, I guess I can't blame the poor souls - a marathon series with their archrivals, a cross country plane ride and BAM, they are back on the field. It could be worse for them, though...they could be sitting in my cubicle writing about ebony bookcases. So last night I met the 'rents for dinner in Little Italy. I can't remember the name of the place...it was like, Amici II or something. Sal was mildly disturbed because the waiter looked Asian, but sounded Italian. Other than that, we had a pleasant dinner. Afterwards, we went to Ferraro's on Grand Street for cannolis and some potent coffee concoctions. Good times. I've told some of you this already, but I think I am going to apply to teach in the Teach For America program. I'm feeling rather restless these days and need to do something a little different. What do you guys think? Alrighty...I have to finish up November's One Day Sale catalog now or Darryl's gonna kill me. Talk to you lovely people later. Oh, and if you are reading this, Bipolar Christy, I just wanted to give you a little shout out and say thanks again for those books, I really appreciate it. It was sweet of you to think of me!

August 21, 2006

BabyDaddy is CLUTCH

GO YANKEES! (Vicky, stop yawning.) My boys are kicking RED SOCK ASS. I seriously had heart palpitations last night when Mariano was dealing with bases loaded and 1 frickin' out. And what's up with David Ortiz milking two bases out of that bad hop to Giambi? Damn...you gotta give it to him for pushing it. Anyway, this series has been AMAZING. BabyDaddy was CLUTCH last night. A 2-out single to bring in Melky?! Gawwwwgeous. Okay, I'll stop talking baseball - for the moment. This weekend was very pleasant. Had a lovely (yes, lovely) day on Saturday. Softball practice in Brooklyn in the early A.M., then brunch at The Hairy Monk, which, despite its Boston-loving ways, has excellent food and a 2-drink brunch special for 10.95 (we left just after Damon led the game off with a shot up the right field line). After brunch, we went to see Talladega Nights. Now, I think Will Ferrell is pretty funny, for the most part, but this movie was BOR-ING. I've already complained to Ellen and Vicky that Will is riding on his celebrity at this point and not even TRYING to make a quality comedy. The whole thing was basically Will and his friends goofing off and laughing at their own jokes. Come on, Will...don't get lazy on us! A funny thing did happen at the movies though...these two guys were behind us talking and this one dude says something along the lines of, "Yeah...like in the Jon Bennamsy case," obviously meaning the Jon-Benet Ramsey case. His friend, making fun of him, goes, "Oh...Jon Bennamsy?" Vicky and I, upon hearing this, both turn around and burst out laughing...like CRYING laughing. Now, please don't think we were making light of the case, because we absolutely were not. It was just so funny to hear the guy, who was trying to sound so knowledgable, call her Jon Bennamsy. (You probably had to be there.) Anyway, we laughed at him for a good 3 minutes. Made up for the lack of laughs after that, I suppose. So that was Saturday...didn't go out in the evening because I was exhausted, as per usual. I spent a good two hours trying to figure out what to eat because I couldn't deal with either shopping for food or ordering in. THUS, I ended up putting garlic turkey sausage on some of Melissa's seeded bread loaf and topping it with cheese, which was rather dry and probably a few days away from being thrown out. Yum. Yesterday I spent a very nice day in the suburbs of Oradell, N.J. at Carol and Mike's house for a family BBQ and the legendary Oradell Whiffleball Tournament. Mike and I came in second. We made it all the way to the finals only to be shut out 10–0 by 2 Mets fans. Tragic! I spent the rest of the time playing various ball games that had no rules with very energetic children and eating cupcakes. Needless to say, I was a happy camper. Got back late last night and, as I've said, watched BabyDaddy and co. until 1:15am. Had bizarre dreams that I cannot remember - I just know I woke up feeling suspicious of something and wanting to cut my hair (don't worry, I won't, Vicky) and now I am here at Bloomie's. It's MOONNNNDAY.

August 17, 2006

Three Days

I like my new schedule. I am only trapped in a cubicle for 3 days a week. I've told some of you this before, so forgive me for repeating myself, but I think I am much more productive during a three day work week. I feel like I have less time to complete projects, so I spend less time screwing around. I am renewed by my days off, so am less disgruntled and way more positive about all of my assignments, even the ridiculously stupid ones. I think companies should do a few studies and see if this is the case across the board. I mean, this isn't Japan and we aren't the most focused bunch of folks, so a three day work week might work for many of us. I am probably generalizing and stereotyping and all of that, but I just don't think that the Asian work ethic allows for much internet surfing and bullshitting with co-workers. Do you agree? Granted, there are exceptions to ignorant generalilzations, but I'm just sayin' that we should try to optimize our work output by paying attention to our issues as a culture. Americans like vacations, we like naps, we like socializing, we like effing around on email - we are a leisure-loving nation (I could, of course, just be just talking about myself here, just bear with me). So - are YOU a candidate for the three day work week? Think about it. How many times have you thought, "I want to win the lottery so I don't have to work."? Mmmmhmmm... candidate. Anyway, take the quiz on this page and find out just how lazy you are---or aren't. Happy Thursday!

August 12, 2006

Beer Jerky

Yesterday, as I was riding up to Bloominghell's, I was sandwiched in the corner between a man holding lots of luggage and a 20-something girl. The elevator was busy for a few floors and then pretty much everyone got out except for me, the man and the girl. I still had 2 floors to go. The doors shut and I waited for the necessary passenger position shift but nothing happened. The man and the girl did not move an inch and I was still blocked in the corner. They had the whole elevator and they DID. NOT. SHIFT. I found it to be most telling. If you don't shift under those circumstances, then you are either oblivous to the concept of personal space or completely self-absorbed. In any case, it says a lot about your degree of social awareness, no? ANYWAY…so things are trucking along at Bloomie’s – I’m up to my neck in One Day Sale catalog crap. I’m not complaining, per se…but I’ll just say that things are EXACTLY the same there as they were 4 months ago. Take from that what you will. Oh, but I can tell you that I am now on the payroll and NOT freelance, so now I am vulnerable to paycheck and I.D. problems...but I am not so vulnerable that I'm getting, say, health insurance. Good times. Anyway, since I last blogged a couple weeks ago, there have been softball games (one win, one loss), many 100-degree days and subsequent power issues, a trip to the Poconos with the same softball team, a visit with Timmy and a couple visits to Yankee stadium (one win, one loss). Also, I have discovered what I think might qualify as my favorite cocktail. It’s a Mexican beer with Tabasco and Worcestershire sauces and lime juice in a salt-rimmed glass. At Rosa Mexicano,it’s called a Michelada….everywhere else, it’s called a blank look from the bartender – unless said bartender is my fabulous BFF, Paul, or the bald guy at Zarela. Vicky has decided that I enjoy this drink because it tastes like beef. And so now, just so you know, we are referring to this drink as “Beer Jerky.” Alrighty then...if it's not obvious, I have little to say. The world is in turmoil - terrorists almost succeeded in doing us in again, the Lebanon/Israel conflict continues to rage, my mother is over in Scotland visiting my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's and doesn't really recognize her... there are too many horrible things going on. I'm going to have a grilled cheese in a minute and think about the fact that right here, right now, I'm one lucky chick - I'm pretty healthy except for my sinus issues and my sore knee, it's a beautiful Saturday, I slept in and talked to one of my best friends on the phone this morning, my cat's purring on my duvet nearby and I have an endless supply of clean water and electricity available. I have nothing more to whine about, so I guess I will go take a shower or something and join the land of the living. Hope your weekends are/were lovely.