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Feel Free To Shake Your Stick at EVERYTHING

Everybody's sick. Drink your OJ, people. And stay away from me. (J/K, feel better Vicky and Dana and Ellen and Paul...did I miss anyone?) So last night Vicky and I went to a Gotham Writer's Workshop for memoir writing. (Yes, expect to see "The Pizza Diaries" by Constance Weatherton (my pen name) at your local bookstore in 2020.) The teacher was pretty cool, but the rest of the class, well... I'll just give you one example of the caliber of "students":

TEACHER: Okay, can someone give us an example of a memoir?
"STUDENT": "Memoirs of a Geisha"!!!!!
TEACHER: Um, well. What do you think makes that a memoir?
"STUDENT": Disappointments, growth, learning.

As Vicky pointed out, (not in class, we are not that cruel), "Memoirs of a Geisha" is a work of fiction. Despite all of this, I think Vicky still plans to take the class in earnest and I raise a glass to that idea. Anyway, yesterday I had three very well balanced meals and more salad than you can shake a stick at (I LOVE that expression because it makes no sense - I mean, you can shake a stick at EVERYTHING if you want to...there are no rules regarding the size of the area at which you shake your stick, you know?) Yeah, so I had a healthy food day. Maybe that'll make a difference in my MOOD today, because it wasn't looking good for anyone in my path yesterday. The girl that was just trying to get to the printer is still smarting from the elbow I threw at her shoulder. Whatever, she was walking, like, a FOOT behind me. Give a girl some space! Planning on taking Brian and our friend Cristin to Penelope tonight and then maybe to see my BFF Paul, who is working at - oh my gosh brain freeze...what's the name? ODESSA! right. East village. If any of you want to jump in on the plans, feel free. Ugh. I guess I'll go do work now. Boooring. Did you guys know that Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie are friends again? Toats. Also, Lindsay is"appalled" by the VF article, Vicky, "appalled." Double toats. Oh, and America's favorite homewrecker, Angelina, is preggers. Snore. (Breathe, Elron, breathe...Jen's fixin' to get her boy back, fo sho.)


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